An Alien Cat Samurai, Ditzy Klaglarian Fugitive, and a Moose Walk into a bar (Chee, Desty, Pan)

In the far future, humanity has expanded its reach into the stars. From there, they learned they were not alone, literally thousands upon thousands of other races existed, an entire community awaited them. They fought expansive space wars, went where no man has gone before, and learned the universe' secrets. Many human beings would soon join the ranks of The Guardians. Guardians were in many ways considered heroes, they traveled the universe searching to help people for pay. They upheld a strict moral code, and worked together to save the universe at every turn. However, the evil bitch Mingko and her empire would soon emerge... subjugating much of the galaxy and hunting most of the Guardians down. The Guardians are now a shadow of their former selves, most now work alone or in small teams, they are despised and hunted down by many. However, a rag tag group of Guardians, along with several outlying planets, and an alliance of powerful armies are uniting to put an end to the bitchiful Minkgo once in for all-!

And that's a completely different story.

On the other side of the universe, it is the year 3000 on a lonely space colony located on an asteroid. Two Guardians, Mewrt, and Moose, are searching for the wanted fugitive known as "Mi'lo". What lies in store for them is a destiny that will forever underwhelm them...

Mewrt
Mercenary Candy Maker
"Leave the easy jobs for the noobies...I'm leaving...this sucks..."
Mewrt's Theme-Meh

"Meh...just be quiet. It's not even really worth it, she's not deadly. Just take a chill pill. IT's like...she just doesn't know her full strength." he said, and pulled out a piece of candy and popped it in his mouth. He ate it and swallowed, counting the amount of pieces left. Not too many. He would have to make some more. He took a drink from his drink that wasn't spilled on the table and then put it back.

Mewrt
Mercenary Candy Maker
"Leave the easy jobs for the noobies...I'm leaving...this sucks..."
Mewrt's Theme-Meh

Mewrt looked behind him and sighed. Oh well then, there she was. He got up and sighed at Moose.
"You're so immature." he said, and decided to let Moose do a thing, because he didn't really care enough. Like, at all. In fact, the fucks he gave were so little, he went over to the bar, grabbed a bottle, chugged it, and then went over to Mi'lo, and pawed at her arm. "Yo. Stop."

Mewrt
Mercenary Candy Maker
"Leave the easy jobs for the noobies...I'm leaving...this sucks..."
Mewrt's Theme-Meh

"Hi you." he said, and then looked at Moose, sighing again because this guy was duuuuuumb. "If you hit it, it'll get mad. If she gets mad, she will squish you like an ant. I'm doing the smart thing.." and then incredibly lazy thing, but you know. She was dumb enough to follow him. "Hey." she said to Mi'lo. "I'll give you a special piece of candy if you don't kill my friend playing tag, okay?" he said, pulling out his last piece from his jacket.

⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊
" S t o p      t r y i n g     t o      m a k e       t h i n g s        a l l      c o m p l i c a t e d      a n d    s t u f f  "

Mewrt
Mercenary Candy Maker
Mewrt's Theme-Meh

" Y o u ' r e      j u s t      g o n n a       m a k e       t h i n g s        h a r d e r       o n       y o u r s e l f "
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☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲

"Oh my goooooooooooooooooood!"
Mewrt was getting tired of Moose not heeding his words. He jumped and hit the gun out of the air with the butt of his sword. He landed, and then trotted over to Mi'lo, smacking her hand with the same part. "Stop." he said and looked at Moose. "Let me handle this please? You'll make things worse." he looked at Mi'lo, rubbing her head where the gun hit, and gave her a piece of candy. "No more tag. We're playing Follow the Leader now. I'm the leader, okay? Gotta promise to follow me, okay?" he said with a slight smile, but then looked at Moose. "There. Now cut it out. You're making things harder. Fucking Noob."

☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲

⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊
" S t o p      t r y i n g     t o      m a k e       t h i n g s        a l l      c o m p l i c a t e d      a n d    s t u f f  "

Mewrt
Mercenary Candy Maker
Mewrt's Theme-Meh

" Y o u ' r e      j u s t      g o n n a       m a k e       t h i n g s        h a r d e r       o n       y o u r s e l f "
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☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲

Mewrt sighed and looked at Mi'lo. He pet her a bit and then nodded. "Alright. Tiny bit of tag. But stop when I say stop, or no more candy, got it?" he said and walked over taking some mints from the jar on what was left o fthe bar. "Noob. Fine. If you need to get aggression out, one game of tag. Go." he sat down, going to monitor the game very very closely. If there was blood being drawn, he'd step in, but for now, nein. "Just be careful with him Mi'lo. He's squishy. Like a jelly candy. Handle with care, if you catch me." he popped a mint in his mouth.

☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲

⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊
" S t o p      t r y i n g     t o      m a k e       t h i n g s        a l l      c o m p l i c a t e d      a n d    s t u f f  "

Mewrt
Mercenary Candy Maker
Mewrt's Theme-Meh

" Y o u ' r e      j u s t      g o n n a       m a k e       t h i n g s        h a r d e r       o n       y o u r s e l f "
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☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲

"EY EY EY!" Mewrt said, tapping Mi'lo's shoulder. "Soft play. No bone breakin. Gentle." he watched carefully as the two started going at it. "That goes for you too Deer."   he said, sitting back and no longer budging from his seat. This was ridiculous, he would be the first to admit it, but if it got Mi'lo tired and Moose his violence boner, he was cool with it.

☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲

⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊
" S t o p      t r y i n g     t o      m a k e       t h i n g s        a l l      c o m p l i c a t e d      a n d    s t u f f  "

Mewrt
Mercenary Candy Maker
Mewrt's Theme-Meh

" Y o u ' r e      j u s t      g o n n a       m a k e       t h i n g s        h a r d e r       o n       y o u r s e l f "
⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊


☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲

"Good girl." Mewrt said, giving tiny smile and placing a mint next to him. "When you're done, you can have more candy cause you're being good." he was pretty amused by the flying Moose thing. And he was still going at it. Mewrt had to admit that Moose was pretty dedicated to his job, but the fact of the matter was that it wasn't going to help against someone like Mi'lo. He was lucky enough he met Mi'lo before this, or else this would have gone pretty horribly. "10 more minutes. Then we're going." he leaned back in his chair, yawned, and waited.

☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲

⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊
" S t o p      t r y i n g     t o      m a k e       t h i n g s        a l l      c o m p l i c a t e d      a n d    s t u f f  "

Mewrt
Mercenary Candy Maker
Mewrt's Theme-Meh

" Y o u ' r e      j u s t      g o n n a       m a k e       t h i n g s        h a r d e r       o n       y o u r s e l f "
⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊⚊


☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲

Mewrt sighed and leaned back. "Because you're a big girl and need to romp in a bigger place. And this isn't that place." he said, and then heard Moose's plan. He sighed and closed his eye. "Yeah, sure. Whatever." he was waiting for the resounding boom that was gonna come from this. But the laze monster hit him...so his caring went to none.

☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲☲