Kalem Klub (1x1x1 Chee y Pan y Tyki)

In the year 2012, everything changed.

It happened swiftly, millions of lives were lost and the world was forever changed. The waters around New York City rose up as a being unlike anything Mankind had ever seen before had awoken underneath the city. This creature was believed to be a long-lost cosmic deity that had for countless millennia slumbered under the city. It had the power to drive mankind to extinction, yet, shortly after it's awakening, it is said that the cosmic deity went back into hibernation, diving deep into the earth's core. The deity no longer posed a danger to mankind, yet the damage done to humanity was seemingly irreparable. It would take hundreds of years for humanity to repair itself, however, little did they known that the cosmic deity was only the beginning...

The cosmic deity's awakening had opened a dimensional portal that opened a path to countless worlds. From it, countless interstellar beings flooded through onto Earth. And so New York City's "Next Wave of Immigrants" arrived, beings from throughout the universe who traveled to Earth in search of a new life. With them came a new wave of technology, culture, and problems. New York was rebuilt in a matter of years as new Gotham, the bridge between Earth and it's interstellar neighbors. It is now 2025, and the presence of aliens and all matter of incredible sights are now common-place. The president has shaken hands with hundreds of leaders from throughout the galaxy, thousands of different species walk through the streets of New Gotham, there are alien Hip Hop artists. However, the world is far from peaceful. Alongside a new wave of interstellar immigrants came a slew of new threats to mankind both small and large. Interstellar criminals, would-be world conquerors, illegal aliens! These are but a few issues that face Earth today!

In light of these new threats, the government secretly formed "Kalem Klub", a secret society tasked with regulating and defending New Gotham against all matter of intergalactic and supernatural threat. These men and women don designer suits, and work behind the scenes to ensure Earth's safety against all matter of trouble. They are the line of defense that stands between Earth and its own destruction!

However...

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"HELLO! THERE SHE BLOWS! Take a flier! The Kalem Klub! We're pretty cool! Join today!" there he was, just standing in the middle of a street handing out fliers to just about everyone that passed. Of course this being New Gotham, just about everyone tossed the fliers away without giving them a look, but it was still pretty blatant. Mr. Wednesday, he was an alien, one that resembled an Earth Orca whale, though that comparison would offend him. He's also a member of the Kalem Klub, which would probably explain why he's handing out fliers... though it was all rather odd considering the Kalem Klub was supposed to be a secret. Not that they were. After all, they were a bunch of guys in cool suits who went around the city fighting aliens. You're bound to be noticed with a job like that, secret society or not "Get a free sushi if you join! A single free sushi! Very good!" he proudly offered the passersby, whom were mostly terrified by the fact that there was a 7-feet tall whale man shoving papers on them. It was kinda surreal. One moment you were just walking to work and then here comes a whale in a suit trying to get you to join a secret society that hunted bad aliens.

This was definitely his first day on the job.

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＂ＷＡＴＡＨ！ Ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ ｂｅｆｏｒｅ ｍｙ Ｆｉｓｈｍａｎ Ｋａｒａｔｅ！＂

Wednesday's Theme - Aggression & Victory

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Mr. Wednesday perked up a bit as he heard a familiar voice call out "Hmmm...?" the whale-man turned to the sound of the voice, only to see his partner Mr. Nankis. As far as Wednesday could tell, Nankis seemed to be a fine, upstanding fellow. Mostly because Wednesday was fairly foreign and actually didn't understand much about the world he was in, including the language. As Mr. Nankis tackled him... the guy kind of just stood there.. being a 7-foot tall mass of muscle kind of helped, even if Nankis was actually a pretty tough guy by all means. Holding his fliers up above his partners reach, the alien bowed to him "Hello, Nankis-Dono!" and then he was trying to force the fliers down Wednesday's mouth. Wednesday responded by gently shoving his partner away, raising his head as he spoke diligently "There's no time for that, Nankis-Dono! I am seeing a thing!" he told his partner as he walked past him. Suddenly... Wednesday seemed to show a much more calm and collected demeanor... why only a few moments ago, he looked like a fool. Wednesday walked across the street, literally walking past the road, literally causing as much traffic as possible and nearly causing a couple dozen car crashes. It mattered not though! There was a serious threat that must be stopped! As he crossed the road, Mr. Wednesday pulled out something from his jacket, they were... Nunchucks! "FISH NUNCHAKU!" Wednesday's diligently spoke as he approached...!!!

A phone booth!!! "STOP RIGHT THERE FIEND!" Mr. Wednesday spoke like a superhero as he began to wave his nunchucks around with clear skill "NANKIS-DONO! PROVIDE COVER! THIS ONE LOOKS DANGEROUS!" of course... Mr. Wednesday had apparently never seen a phone booth before. Apparently it looked like some sort of evil alien species to him or something.

Phone booths were pretty terrifying after all.

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＂ＷＡＴＡＨ！ Ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ ｂｅｆｏｒｅ ｍｙ Ｆｉｓｈｍａｎ Ｋａｒａｔｅ！＂

Wednesday's Theme - Aggression & Victory

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Mr. Wednesday approached the Phone booth, ever vigilant. He looked inside it, only to see an innocent bystander inside it "NANKIS-DONO! IT HAS A CAPTIVE!" he yelled, taking a defensive stance against the thing. Then Nankis passed him... and the Orcinian looked absolutely shocked as his partner just went up and kicked it, the bystander running out in terror. "..." Mr. Wednesday slowly began to lower his weapon "Good job... Nankis-dono..." he muttered, acting as if they'd just defeating the thing after an epic fight. He took a step back afterwards when he saw Nankis' glare "W-well..." Wednesday scratched the back of his head nervously to such a question, as if he struggled to come up with an answer. And then, the unexpected happened.

"EXTERMINATE!" the phone booth talked! It suddenly sprouted metallic legs and claws, standing up and attempting to crush Nankis with its gigantic clamps! "BE CAREFUL NANKIS-DONO!!!" The Orcinian yelled as he grabbed his partner and threw him up in the air so he wouldn't be caught by the machine. It continued to yell EXTERMINATE, in a mantra, with Wednesday slowly backing away from the machine. Raising his nunchucks once more, he took a defensive stance "I should have known it wasn't defeated..." he muttered, constantly slowly backing away from the advancing machine. He knew the second he saw that phone booth that it was in fact a killer phone booth!

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＂ＷＡＴＡＨ！ Ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ ｂｅｆｏｒｅ ｍｙ Ｆｉｓｈｍａｎ Ｋａｒａｔｅ！＂

Wednesday's Theme - Aggression & Victory

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Mr. Wednesday's gaze was focused on his partner as he landed on the phone booth, oh excuse me, THE KILLER PHONE BOOTH "LUCKY!" he triumphantly yelled into the heavens... only to realize that the phone booth was getting too close, then he started backing the fuck up again. And then he saw that Nankis was signaling for him to be quiet about the fact that he was on top of the thing... which technically Wednesday ALREADY fucked up on, but he could have at least tried to be quiet from then on. He didn't. "Huh...? OH! I GET IT! YES NANKIS-DONO! I WILL BE QUIET!" he spoke loudly, bowing to his partner. Around this point, Wednesday forgot that there was a killer phone booth again, so as the thing tried to crush him with his clamps, Wednesday got a wake-up call "WATAH!" he screamed in an abnormally high-pitched voice as he swung his nunchucks at the thing's claws. It did in fact back away from the whale man, but they didn't seem to do much damage to the thing. So naturally, Mr. Wednesday swung his nunchucks at the thing as many times as he could "WATAH! BOK CHOY! GENERAL TSO'S CHICKEN!" he yelled as he swung his nunchucks at the machine three times... none of the attacks really did much. Of course, there was still a perk to this... Wednesday's reckless attacks were certainly distracting the evil phone booth from Nankis, if the thing knew he was on top of it.

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＂ＷＡＴＡＨ！ Ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ ｂｅｆｏｒｅ ｍｙ Ｆｉｓｈｍａｎ Ｋａｒａｔｅ！＂

Wednesday's Theme - Aggression & Victory

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Mr. Wednesday looked somewhat offended at Nankis' words "THAT DIDN'T SOUND VERY NICE, NANKIS-DONO!" he yelled out to his partner, before focusing his attention at the killer phone booth again. Seeing as how his nunchucks weren't working, he put his nunchaku away and took some sort of strange martial arts stance. Raising his right hand up, Mr. Wednesday prepared his next attack "FISHMAAAAAN-..!!" just as the whale man was about to go in for the attack however, Nankis succeeded in blowing the thing's roof off and apparently killing it. The thing was reduced to a lump of wrecked metal and his partner was sent through a window. Mr. Wednesday was, of course, running for Nankis after he got launched into a store "ADMIRABLE FORM, NANKIS-DONO!" he complimented the man... it wasn't clear if he was complimenting his kill or the fact that he launched through a window. You never knew with him. The whale man looked at his partner before looking back to the wreckage of the phone booth, then back to his partner again. This was a good day "Should we... return to base? Yes? I believe we must... report this to HQ? This... this is not normal for Ye-arth? Right?" at least, he assumed this wasn't normal for Earth. But who was he to say? Maybe humans just liked having killer phone booths walking around. Anyways, they should probably return to work anyways. That was definitely a good break.

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＂ＷＡＴＡＨ！ Ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ ｂｅｆｏｒｅ ｍｙ Ｆｉｓｈｍａｎ Ｋａｒａｔｅ！＂

Wednesday's Theme - Aggression & Victory

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Mr. Wednesday had already begun his walk back to HQ, alongside Mr. Nankis "That was not an- uh- alien- Nankis-dono... that was a machine. No idea who built it though..." it could have been anyone, an alien, a human, and Wednesday couldn't figure out what it's purpose was either. "It is best we get back to base, yes? Figure out what is wrong..." and eventually they would approach what seemed to be a building with a clearly marked sign "Kalem Klub" with another sign under it (which was much smaller) reading "Secret, do not enter!". Wednesday then entered, which brought them to... an ordinary office! No seriously... it looked no different than a police department. There were only a hand full of other operatives in suits, all working on their own cases or just hanging around doing office work. The Kalem Klub was severely under-funded and under-manned, the most high-tech machinery they had were their standard laser guns, otherwise, it was the 2020s and their computers were still using Windows 98!

Mr. Wednesday walked over to his office, approaching a file on his desk that was apparently left there for him "Oh...?" the whale-man picked up the file, reading it. Looks like they had a small case "The phone booth may need to wait Nankis-dono! It looks like the boss gave us a job!" he called out to his partner as he waved the file in front of them.

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＂ＷＡＴＡＨ！ Ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ ｂｅｆｏｒｅ ｍｙ Ｆｉｓｈｍａｎ Ｋａｒａｔｅ！＂

Wednesday's Theme - Aggression & Victory

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Mr. Wednesday tilted his head to the side as he was called a newbie "Aren't we both new, Nankis-Dono?" he asked, before keeping the file away from the man as he asked for it. It was on his desk after all, he was gonna read it. "It is fine, comrade, I can read it...! Hmmmm..." after a few minutes, Wednesday tossed it over to Nankis. He had finished reading it, and he was off towards the exit already "An illegal alien, yes? We have address..." hopefully violence would not be needed, but Wednesday kept his nunchucks with him just in case. The whale walked out of the building, believing that Mr. Nankis would leave with him "Small case, will be done before evening."

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＂ＷＡＴＡＨ！ Ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ ｂｅｆｏｒｅ ｍｙ Ｆｉｓｈｍａｎ Ｋａｒａｔｅ！＂

Wednesday's Theme - Aggression & Victory

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Mr. Wednesday rose an eye to Nankis as the EDF was mentioned "I have no interest in the EDF... too much death..." he told his partner with a sense of damnation in his voice before he just kept on walking forward. Since the EDF was called in for the SERIOUS problems, they were often called in as a military force... something Wednesday wasn't very keen on. He just wanted to help out the community with his nunchucks. The address would lead them to an apartment, which was luckily only a few blocks away from their HQ. As they approached the entrance to the apartment, Wednesday turned to his partner and spoke "We're not going to be helping anyone looking like we're out to kill... yes? Not good..." Wednesday then knocked on the door "Hello? It's Kalem Klub! Open up!" they really sucked at being a secret society. Nonetheless, there wasn't an answer coming from inside, which wasn't good news.

"Should we... uh... knock again?" Wednesday asked as he tried to peak into the apartment's windows. He couldn't manage to see anybody inside. The apartment itself was also notably empty of most furniture. That was definitely odd. The only thing he saw was a chew toy... otherwise it was just an empty room.

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＂ＷＡＴＡＨ！ Ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ ｂｅｆｏｒｅ ｍｙ Ｆｉｓｈｍａｎ Ｋａｒａｔｅ！＂

Wednesday's Theme - Aggression & Victory

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Mr. Wednesday turned to Nankis when questioned on his English "Gh'l... English one and two." he told his partner in a straight-forward manner... which probably brought up more questions than answered them. "How else are we supposed to get job done? 'Oh hello there, Pizzeria Whale!' That's dumb!" he retorted to his partner as he suddenly blasted the door down. Wednesday just facepalmed as he walked in, they might as well get this job done. Wednesday pulled his Fish Nunchaku out, though they probably didn't look like much of a threat compared to his partners weapons. As the smoke cleared, they'd be greeted with a rather empty apartment... save for one occupant.

A dog.

Mr. Wednesday, of course, looked rather confused "Uh..." he held his nunchucks up defensively "Is... is that an alien...?" he asked, looking down at the thing. It was just sitting and looking at them.



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＂ＷＡＴＡＨ！ Ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ ｂｅｆｏｒｅ ｍｙ Ｆｉｓｈｍａｎ Ｋａｒａｔｅ！＂

Wednesday's Theme - Aggression & Victory

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Mr. Wednesday was about to pull out his cellphone when Nankis pointed his gun at the puppy "So should I just call HQ or- WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? NANKIS-DONO THAT IS AN EARTH DOG!" sure they had just been attacked by a phone booth, but that didn't mean they should be blasting puppies! Mr. Wednesday shook his head, taking a step towards the creature, which was just harmlessly wagging it's tail at them "Why do humans keep such ugly pets? So weird..." he muttered, examining it before turning back to Nankis who still had the guns. At this point, Wednesday decided he was a threat to the community being so trigger happy so he attempted to pull the gun away from Nankis "NANKIS-DONO! No more pointing gun at small animals!? Yes!?" the last thing the Kalem Klub needed was more bad press by blowing up some guy's dog.



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＂ＷＡＴＡＨ！ Ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ ｂｅｆｏｒｅ ｍｙ Ｆｉｓｈｍａｎ Ｋａｒａｔｅ！＂

Wednesday's Theme - Aggression & Victory

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Mr. Wednesday nodded to Nankis when asked if he would protect the dog if he were an alien "Hl'r... Nankis-Dono, this is not violent case. Illegal alien. No guns needed." the last thing they needed was bad press because they fucking murdered somebody all because they were an illegal alien. And then Nankis dropped the gun that was pointed at the puppy, Wednesday let out a sigh, finally! He was acting normal! "Thank you Nankis-dono" Wednesday spoke with a bow, only to look up and see... TWO GUNS. One of which was pointed at him, meanwhile the puppy was just there being a dog. Wednesday, however, was not too fond about his partner pointing a gun at him. That was going too far "Stop being foolish, Nankis-Dono..." Wednesday muttered as he pulled out his nunchucks, no way was he going to trust this guy with NOT shooting him if he turned his back.



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＂ＷＡＴＡＨ！ Ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ ｂｅｆｏｒｅ ｍｙ Ｆｉｓｈｍａｎ Ｋａｒａｔｅ！＂

Wednesday's Theme - Aggression & Victory

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Mr. Wednesday was pretty much in his element in their little Mexican standoff, you could tell he'd done this before. But once Nankis lowered his gun, Wednesday made sure to lower his nunchaku "Wise decision..." he muttered before turning back to the dog. The Orcinian got on a knee and stared at the thing, trying to figure out... what the hell it was... maybe it wasn't an Earth dog? Perhaps it was a disguise! Of a species that looked like an Earth dog in the same way his own species resembled Killer Whales! It was all possible, and Wednesday had no means of knowing what it could actually be. As Nankis called in, Wednesday just continued to stare into his eyes. Just something about him was-

"Привет, американец." the dog spoke in an echoing voice, despite it not opening its mouth.

Wednesday was justifiably surprised by it all, as the dog's sudden speech made the Orcinian fall on his ass. He didn't quite understand what ti was saying... was than an Earth language? WAS THIS AN ALIEN!?

"Я Грегори. Я родом из большой России-матушки , отправленного в космос в 1967 году для супер секретный космической миссии . Вы меня понимаете , да ? Я приземлился в Америке несколько дней назад, такое странное землю . Можете ли вы показать мнепуть к Советскому Союзу ? Я хочу вернуться к моему славному Родины." it just kept on talking... much to the dismay of Mr. Wednesday. The Orcinian prepared his nunchaku for battle out of confusion, what was this thing saying!?



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＂ＷＡＴＡＨ！ Ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ ｂｅｆｏｒｅ ｍｙ Ｆｉｓｈｍａｎ Ｋａｒａｔｅ！＂

Wednesday's Theme - Aggression & Victory